22 June 2010

June 23, 2010 at 12:14 am (Uncategorized)

(An excerpt from my paper journal.)

My life is so absurdly messy.  There are clothes and crap and, frankly, bugs everywhere.  I found a worm in my pastina this morning. So I’ve been reading all these minimalist and organizational blogs and it mostly is just making me depressed.

Hand in hand with minimalism comes that whole “quit your job! blog to be rich!” mantra, as well.  An the more you read it the more you want to do it, of course.  And I have discovered/surprised myself yet again (this happens about twice a year) that I am a good, strong writer.

But the problem is that I am not particularly amazing at anything (including/especially writing) to be able to blog about it.  I know the Cal Newport logic here is to just pick one thing I am pretty good at and work to be particularly amazing at it.

I just always hesitate at that part.  What if I cannot be particularly amazing at anything?  What if I am destined to be some kind of odd semi-queen of all trades, except it’s more like the queen of all mediocrities?  Especially since grueling and dispiriting nine-to-five work provides me with a nice, comforting routine.  I was happy two summers ago to work eight to four then come home slightly exhausted then rest then eat then go for a walk or read or write and then go to bed.  I was the happiest then than I ever had been, even at the point where I was averaging four paper cuts per day.

I just need structure and routine and especially to be pried from my house with a crowbar and maybe even a meat cleaver.

Things I Could Maybe Be Good At:

  • Knitting
  • Web design
  • Writing (??)
  • Advice on being broke (real broke, not just “my dad cut off my access to his credit card” broke) in college
  • Cooking?
  • Selling body to science
  • Whining about how much I miss Italy
  • How to repel friends and detract all potential suitors
  • How to accidentally be (and attract!!) a creepy person
  • How to be an almost-alcoholic on the cheap
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